if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
