haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
