creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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