So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
