3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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