Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize