I have demons in me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
