Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
