This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just had sex on a roof
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
