so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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