the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
