I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
