Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
