There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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