So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
