I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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