dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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