i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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