Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
