Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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