I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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