i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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