I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
