You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
