i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
