oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
