Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
