i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
