and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
