i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
