Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
