I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
