You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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