I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
