I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
