Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he puts the penis in happiness.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
