Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
