Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
