Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize