Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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