i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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