hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
