Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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