So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
