Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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