She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
