At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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