good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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