Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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