I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
