I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
