I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
