So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
