i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize