Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
where are you?
Hypothermia
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
