So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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