I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
