I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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