He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize